When I came to Montana for Easter to escape my life for a long weekend, I had no intention of staying.
I was stuck. Stuck on my patio binge-watching Netflix and getting drunk on boxed wine or 100 proof vodka. Relating scenes in shows like “The Blacklist” and “Person of Interest” to my failed marriage and in my drunken logic, emailing or texting not only my ex these revelations, but my pastor and his staff!
I have been in Townsend, Montana now for over two months working on my friend’s alfalfa farm. It is a much different environment. Slower, like one would think, and also healing as one would think. I came full-time after crying out to God to just TELL ME what I was supposed to do to fix my heart and mind. Knowing He would never take my free will, I begged that He make it very clear the path He wanted me on to get to my purpose and promise. It was literally in this prayer that my friend called me and jokingly asked if I wanted a job. I replied I would be there in a few days and showed up 24 hours later-keeping my promise to God to be IMMEDIATELY OBEDIENT.
We were here for less than 24 hours and I enrolled my 5 year old in kindergarten, giving him some social time while I worked in a tractor. I stopped drinking so much, only going out occasionally with my friend to have a couple glasses of wine. I was still smoking and waking up with a slight hangover on occasion. It wasn’t until I went back home to put all my belongings in storage about 3 weeks ago that I truly made the full transition.
I heard my pastor at Life Church Boise teach on the renewing of the mind. God spoke to me then and reminded me that it is through reading the Bible daily that we get to learn the language He speaks to us in. I was floored with the download of loving information He was filling me with. It wouldn’t stop coming!!! Every morning I would wake up (and still do) at 4:30 to have my quiet time with my father. He sometimes keeps me there for 4 hours! The only reason I put my Bible down on those days is to work.
I am being molded. Not because I’m being forced or was such a horrible person to begin with-but because I have been shown what my purpose is and where I was in my life would not allow me to become that person. I had to CHOOSE to allow God to change me. It’s a slow and beautiful process, the changes and revelations are noticeable instantly and I recognize His voice so much more clearly now. I am becoming friends with God and it feels wonderful.
I remember one of my favorite revelations that happened just this past weekend when I was chatting with my 13 year old son. I was given an opportunity to share something God revealed to me in scripture but I found myself apprehensive to tell my son because I was thinking he would not be receptive or he would learn to hate God because I was shoving religion down his throat. I heard clearly, God’s voice tell me that it was Satan telling me lies trying to get me to believe that my lessons on God hold no weight. That it was the enemy’s purpose to convince me to destroy my children’s faith in God, since he has no power except in our minds.
Anywho, to summarize the revelation-when you are in sync with God, talking to Him through prayer and learning His language through the daily reading of the Holy Bible (I plan on reading the Apocrypha, too), you will renew your mind and allow yourself to be led to opportunities that will keep you moving towards your promise.