In texting with a few male friends this morning during my breakfast cooking and singing to God, I am made painfully aware of how few people follow their purpose in life.
Fear of the unknown, fear of what others would think of me and being in constant fear my children would be taken away for neglect were a few of the reasons I froze and remained in 20 years of servitude to a car payment and an apartment I couldn’t afford on my wages because of what I heard from others about MY life.
It still continues. Well-meaning friends put their opinions in with the disclaimers of “no offense, but…” or “I know it’s your life, but I feel like I have to say something” or the passive-aggressive comments of “it’s so cute how you don’t care what other kids are going to think of Jasper living out of a 30 year old rv” and “I’m so jealous that you can just pick up and go with no regard to the welfare of your kids”.
Family members have been so supportive, though. In my fear before making this move, I was certain I was about to become a nomad not only in the literal sense, but in the picture in my brain, wandering in the desert chasing mirages looking for water all the while banging sand out of my sandals, carrying my dying son in my weak arms, his lips cracked from dehydration, myself too delirious with thirst to stop moving. Family has encouraged and loved on me, expressing their heartfelt adoration that I am following not only my heart, but the heart of my God to fulfill my purpose of ministering to the deceived and love on all of them like a crazy person.
Back to my thoughts on chasing your purpose, I believe that one of Satan’s key roles is to keep us in prison to what we think we are supposed to do.
For instance: go to college. Even if you have no job, no savings, and no family took the initiative to save money for you in the past. Go! Get into massive debt before you even begin life. This will ensure you and your college sweetheart, or the one you cheated on them with soon after graduation and decided to marry because it’s what you’re supposed to do and her father will still pay for the wedding because you’re so broke. And you NEED that $10,000 honeymoon to a tropical place - it’s the last time you’ll get it because when you get back, you’ve both got to move into the overpriced box house (you know-the one that only looks different from the others in your neighborhood because you painted your last name on the mailbox) and get to work to pay off an average of $245,000 in college debt. <pant, pant>
Cynical? Judgmental? Ignorant? Prescient? Condemning? Yes, that last paragraph is all of those things. But this is my blog and it’s important to start a conversation about these things instead of the obvious ant/lemming/worker bee conversation I have been listening to for the past 40 years.
I believe it is within everyone to do whatever they want. Now, I’m still within the binds of reality and physics so if you want to fly, I would suggest making friends with pilots and studying all the course materials, not strapping some homemade feathers to your shirt and jumping off a building because you think that since you believe you can, you can will it into existence and you won’t die a horribly messy death just after the realization … “oopsie”.
What I’m proposing is that if you are in a place where you feel stuck in slavery, you get to step back and evaluate your life.
One friend I was speaking to this morning is a very successful career man and a lot of people rely on him being available and regimented with his schedule. He likes his career and he uses the money to take care of his family. So what could a person like this do? Can you see how trapped this can make him feel? A change of perspective is what I would suggest to him. The first step I would recommend is try and re-convince yourself that you love what you do and wouldn’t trade it for anything. If he still find himself lacking and full of Wanderlust, then he gets to take the steps to remove himself from where his is and place himself where he wants to be.
The other friend I was texting is completely the opposite. He is going off feeling to go after what he wants in life with complete disregard to the fact he needs to care for his children and pay his bills. He’s of the mindset that if he works hard enough at his hobby, he can and will monetize it before another bill comes due. These are the dangers of following your heart and how Satan can use our dreams against us if we are not fully rooted in a reality-relationship with God.
Following God fully by reading the scriptures is what has made me successful in my quest. Think of it like this: the Holy Bible is God’s story, his language, if you will. He told it and every word and story in it has a double-entendre. There are the words any person, including Satan, can read if the Bible is printed in their language. Then, there is the spiritual-the metaphors that nobody will see until and unless they seek out this magical conversation with God.
Another way I described my love affair with God to a girlfriend was like this-if you had a crush on someone and wanted to learn everything about them so you could impress them but found out they spoke a different language-one you’d never heard of before, wouldn’t you try to learn at least a few key phrases? And after your efforts are rewarded with smiles and walks around town, would you not try to learn some verbs and conversational sentences? Maybe spend time practicing writing the script and practicing the language out loud? If you answered no, then you are one of those few people who is entitled and expects to just get the things they desire handed to you because you “are a good person” and you “work really hard” for the things you have. And I have no idea why you are reading my blog. You are the type of person who frustrates me the most because you don’t TRY and you expect everyone to simply recognize and reward you for everything you think you have accomplished. However, if you answered yes, then you are like me and you know that anything really great comes from asking, seeking and knocking. We know that we have to be proactive in our quest for anything good.
My suggestion to you if you find yourself feeling stuck and overcome with Fernweh, write down 5 things that must happen in order for you to be able to move. Even if they doesn't seem plausible, just the top 5 things. Then prioritize them and start acting on the top priority immediately. And start educating yourself on what it is you desire most.
And don't forget to keep talking to God throughout the process. He wants what will make you happy (as long as you're living for Him, of course) and He will give you the wisdom and tools to accomplish it-just ask.
Proverbs 6:22, 14:23
Matthew 6:33, 13:3